Sorry, catching up on a lot of stuff...

Hello Vizirs of the Cosmos,

- I am doing well, officially off the Tylenol as well!! Hurray!! I do some daily walking (a little less than a mile) and will increase this to a little over a mile/day over the weekend. I use this to run my errands that do not involve heavy lifting.
- The cats are the funniest and cutest creatures in the known universe.
- I still have a ton of flowers in the apartment and I am taking very good care of them, for both my enjoyment and the cats.
- A lot of what I am exposed to has to do with either babies or cancer which is a little hard to deal with (recommended a book about 1st year of the life of a single mom's son. Only thing is that her best friend dies of cancer at the end of the book)
- I have had people call and visit every day which is so wonderful!
- My final pathology report isn't ready yet so more waiting
- I am getting ready to graduate in Sarcomatography.

I now feel well enough to process some work e-mails, and perhaps join a few calls, eg. gradually get back into the heat of things. As I started to do this, I got a message from my manager saying that it would be best if I ignored all work-related things, including e-mails until I got back to work 100%. He said that people had my cell number if they ever needed an urgent answer from me.

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How am I going to spend my days???

As my manager realized that he could not lure me away from e-mail, he suggested a task that would help the team a lot. It's right up my alley so I gladly accepted (for those who don't know, I love my job). It feels really good to be a little useful :) Right now, I am in a holding pattern, waiting for the pathology report and for my tissues to heal. I have no one to entertain during the day. I think a lot about motherhood/hysterectomy, etc...but I am not really making any progress. Just feels like an unhealthy obsession. Physically I am fine and my limitations are limited to walking, lifting and general exercise. I don't think it applies to typing. So this is a welcome break!

His statement yesterday sounded like a "don't worry about work for now, just worry about getting better". I really think that doing a little bit of this work that I enjoy so much will help me recover faster!

To those who have expressed concerns over my professional situation (esp. the EU folks who might think of the US as this harsh corporate environment), I wanted to reiterate that I could not have found people more supportive. My managers, colleagues, etc...have all offered to help in various ways. This emotional roller-coaster as well as medical commitments (time sink) had bad consequences on my productivity. The decision to have a baby or to undergo a hysterectomy will have consequences that will outlive my current position.

I told my managers very early on about the situation. Their support has been phenomenal. We consulted with HR and agreed to take it slowly and make temporary changes to my job when we both feel it becomes necessary. I am working with the team to make sure that I can transfer knowledge and some of my responsibilities. I have reduced the scope of my work to focus on what really matters. If it came to that, we have talked about my switching to a less demanding project, working part-time, taking a leave of absence or some vacation time, go on long-term disability leave, etc...There are many options. All my managers have assured me that it wouldn't affect my performance/career, except of course for a little time hit. My VP also said that if I needed to take a longer disability leave, she would make sure that I have an equally interesting job/project when I got back.

All in all, we are actively talking about the situation. I communicate anything that might be relevant to my employer as soon as I know about it or if the likelihood of it happening is high. I also share with them some of my concerns/feelings/emotions as they relate to work. I feel that we are dealing with this as two informed adult parties who have an interest in maintaining a good relationship, and who consider this a temporary situation that requires a little flexibility and creativity. We both agree that getting healthy is a priority (a dead product manager is no good to most Earthly organizations). I can't stress enough how I appreciate their openness, and support.

This is also a reason why I don't mind putting in work during an official medical leave.

I am unbelievably lucky.


I just slept for a couple of hours...Post-lunch nap. I guess that this is still what my body needs...My cats and I are taking turns.

I am slowly leaning toward the hysterectomy after my discussions with everyone. The main argument is the risk of having to interrupt a pregnancy to get treated. I will probably not get any new info from talking to more physicians, but it might comfort me in whatever decision I end up making.

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I have just received a very intriguing parcel! It contains...

A TEAPOT - nice, green, elegant...

Teabags, cookies and a beautiful scented candle!!! From a close friend with whom I played volleyball at University!!

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I decided to walk to the Tea Lounge this morning to do some work (my cleaning lady is coming today so it will be havoc in my apartment), and the tea there is too good :) I turned up at 9:15 only to find out that it opens at 10:00. Fortunately, there was a small coffee shop right across the road where I patiently waited. Kind of a weird hippy and artisty place,
After a few minutes, I started to feel some pain in my lower abdomen (hopefully will subside soon because I don't have any painkillers with me today!).
Just before leaving the place, I did what a lot of people do, visited the restroom...There I found on the floor, an extremely thick book entitled "The Biology Of Cancer". I looked through it, looks like it's some textbook about cancer. How random!!!

Pain is better now, hopefully will completely go away by the end of the morning. I am now sitting at the Tea Lounge, sipping a nice warm Chai :)