1st Day Fertility Treatment
Hello dear Alien fans,
(sorry about the delay!!!)
Today, I am officially starting my infertility treatment - this is kind of weird because as far as I know, I am not infertile...So this is supposed to work REALLY well for me...Apparently, they have managed to retrieve up to 26 eggs with some women. I hope to beat this.
I have been given a "Guide to Patient Friendly Fertility Treatment" on a DVD. You can tell I am being followed by a Silicon Valley center. Next, they will send me the URL to a webinar on "How To Become an Injection Pro in 15 min", or a "Registered Nurse in 90 days".
Anyhow, so I was asked to turn up today at 10:00 at the REI clinic which I obediently did.
First I needed some blood to be drawn to do some hormonal test (FSH = to determine ovary biological age, some more hormonal baseline, HIV and other STDs, etc...). The guy at the lab asked me which arm I wanted to use. I felt an urge to be ultra-generous and I let him choose. The winner was my left arm, which doesn't surprise me. I have always had a penchant for my left arm.
Then, I met with Dr W. for a little chat about my weekend and an ultrasound, which they do vaginally. Doesn't beat sex though and I don't want to meet the gigantic humans that can use the outsized condoms they use for the probe. Here are her comments:
"The uterus is where it is supposed to be" (Thank God!!! They didn't have to chase it all the way up the lungs!)
"Right ovary looks right, dimensions are - I can't remember, but I am sure that it was very big -"
"Left ovary looks right (hold on, I thought that we were talking about the left one now) - dimensions are - I can't remember either but I am sure that it was fine, I didn't hear the doctor screams"
After this wonderful experience, I was asked to dress up again, feel a little normal for once and go to the consultation room to chat with the nurse. Crammed in a 2x2x4 room with a larger than average nurse called Lisa, we went over various things...
1- Consent form for A, consent form for B, consent form for C, page 7 out of 10, etc...
2- My "schedule", or what I need to do explained day by day, until we reach TBD which Lisa explained as "To Be Determined". What happens then will depend on blood test and ultrasound results.
3- How to use the various syringes, needles and bottles/cartridges so that I can give myself the injections. The one takeaway is that I need to find a place in my body where I can pinch one inch of fat tissues. Shouldn't be too hard in my case, but I'd hate to be someone who doesn't qualify for this treatment because they are too thin.
4- Quality of life during the treatment. In 3 days, I will have to stop all exercise and these meds will make me feel depressed, bloated as loads of extra liquid will be generated in my lower abdomen area. I may experience headaches, severe mood swings. I most likely will experience rash and skin irritation at the injection site (you guys haven't seen the size of the needles yet - they are designed for VERY big women, definitely more than one inch of fat tissue).
Why do I need to stop all exercise and heavy lifting after day 3? Because the ovaries will swell A LOT (if this stuff works) and
- Exercise will bring blood to where it's needed for the exercise and ovaries are not high on the priority list (no? how weird). This may deprived ovaries for getting enough energy to produce a ton of follicles (which contain the eggs). We dont' want that
- The ovaries will grow abnormally big and they are attached by tiny tendons...if I were to move too much and stretch my muscles too much, they could break LOOSE!! This is both extremely painful and detrimental to fertility. Given that fertility is the whole point of this little procedure, we don't want that.
Besides, imagine the ridicule of turning up at the ER saying "Hey, I think that one of my ovaries just went for a run, last time I saw it, it was hiding under my bladder".
The nurse wanted to make sure that I understood what no exercise mean (eg no endurance exercise, nothing that will bring my heartrate above 120)
I quote
"- no running
- no biking
- no treadmill (does anyone use treadmills for anything else but running?)
- no...er...let's see what am I forgetting. As you can see, I am not that familiar with exercise..."
LOL!!!
The egg retrieval procedure is done under anesthesia (general or IV heavy sedation). Lasts ~ 30 min, through an aspiration needle and assisted by ultrasound (I want to stay awake to see this!!! Must have a phenomenal entertainment value!!). Patients must arrive 1 hr before the procedure, not have food/drinks past midnight the night before, get connected through some IV, go to dreamland for a short while and then wake up in a recovery room. After 3-4 hours, they can go home. However, someone needs to drive them home as apparently they feel drunk (ahem). No work that day and no driving for 72 hours after the procedure.
I quote from the consent form "Recipients will be administered sedation and in some cases general anesthesia. Recipients may experience mild to severe pain during the procedure. Anesthesia levels will be adjusted to manage pain levels"
Great...they will ask me every 2 min where my pain level is on a scale from zero to 10 I bet...
"Discomfort in the lower abdomen is often experienced after the procedure"
- Some side effects from hormonal treatments: ovarian cancer (bummer)
- Some side effects of anesthesia: death and brain damage (bummer)
(they are not called patients in the REI clinic, they are called "Recipients" or "Donors". Most donate money to the clinic though.)
Anyway, next step was to explain to give me a little tutorial on donor sperm. I have a list of cryobanks I can try out too, and a recommendaiton for two of them that know the REI clinic processes very well. And both of them are in California and both of them have an online catalogue.
For anyone who hasn't purchased some sperm recently, you can find the Winter Collection profiles of those anonymous dads, and if you are interested in a blind date, you can ask for a more in-depth description and a baby picture for a small $80 fee. Very cute. You can purchase one or more vials and have the samples sent over to you or directly to your fertility doc/clinic.
100% better than online dating.
So there you go -
Tonight I will start my first injection to give my ovaries a little boost. My next ultrasound and clinic appointment is on Friday at 8:15 (Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!)
Tomorrow I am meeting the clinic counsellor to make sure that I keep a perfect mind-body balance throughout all this (hey, my ovaries are supposed to swell, does this mean that my ego will be inflated too?).
I have also been referred to some maternal foetal medicine doctor to get a download on "Pregnancy after a trachelectomy". They typically manage complicated pregnancies or complications during a pregnancy. However, they are also located at the Medical Center. I may want to have someone who's a little closer to home...
Oh, Lisa, (Lisa and Terri are my nurses) just called. They have the lab results. My FSH is 12 (so what?) which is a little elevated (does this mean that I am super fertile???), so instead of using 300mg of this first drug, I now need to use 450mg (as far as the injector pen can go...)
(sorry about the delay!!!)
Today, I am officially starting my infertility treatment - this is kind of weird because as far as I know, I am not infertile...So this is supposed to work REALLY well for me...Apparently, they have managed to retrieve up to 26 eggs with some women. I hope to beat this.
I have been given a "Guide to Patient Friendly Fertility Treatment" on a DVD. You can tell I am being followed by a Silicon Valley center. Next, they will send me the URL to a webinar on "How To Become an Injection Pro in 15 min", or a "Registered Nurse in 90 days".
Anyhow, so I was asked to turn up today at 10:00 at the REI clinic which I obediently did.
First I needed some blood to be drawn to do some hormonal test (FSH = to determine ovary biological age, some more hormonal baseline, HIV and other STDs, etc...). The guy at the lab asked me which arm I wanted to use. I felt an urge to be ultra-generous and I let him choose. The winner was my left arm, which doesn't surprise me. I have always had a penchant for my left arm.
Then, I met with Dr W. for a little chat about my weekend and an ultrasound, which they do vaginally. Doesn't beat sex though and I don't want to meet the gigantic humans that can use the outsized condoms they use for the probe. Here are her comments:
"The uterus is where it is supposed to be" (Thank God!!! They didn't have to chase it all the way up the lungs!)
"Right ovary looks right, dimensions are - I can't remember, but I am sure that it was very big -"
"Left ovary looks right (hold on, I thought that we were talking about the left one now) - dimensions are - I can't remember either but I am sure that it was fine, I didn't hear the doctor screams"
After this wonderful experience, I was asked to dress up again, feel a little normal for once and go to the consultation room to chat with the nurse. Crammed in a 2x2x4 room with a larger than average nurse called Lisa, we went over various things...
1- Consent form for A, consent form for B, consent form for C, page 7 out of 10, etc...
2- My "schedule", or what I need to do explained day by day, until we reach TBD which Lisa explained as "To Be Determined". What happens then will depend on blood test and ultrasound results.
3- How to use the various syringes, needles and bottles/cartridges so that I can give myself the injections. The one takeaway is that I need to find a place in my body where I can pinch one inch of fat tissues. Shouldn't be too hard in my case, but I'd hate to be someone who doesn't qualify for this treatment because they are too thin.
4- Quality of life during the treatment. In 3 days, I will have to stop all exercise and these meds will make me feel depressed, bloated as loads of extra liquid will be generated in my lower abdomen area. I may experience headaches, severe mood swings. I most likely will experience rash and skin irritation at the injection site (you guys haven't seen the size of the needles yet - they are designed for VERY big women, definitely more than one inch of fat tissue).
Why do I need to stop all exercise and heavy lifting after day 3? Because the ovaries will swell A LOT (if this stuff works) and
- Exercise will bring blood to where it's needed for the exercise and ovaries are not high on the priority list (no? how weird). This may deprived ovaries for getting enough energy to produce a ton of follicles (which contain the eggs). We dont' want that
- The ovaries will grow abnormally big and they are attached by tiny tendons...if I were to move too much and stretch my muscles too much, they could break LOOSE!! This is both extremely painful and detrimental to fertility. Given that fertility is the whole point of this little procedure, we don't want that.
Besides, imagine the ridicule of turning up at the ER saying "Hey, I think that one of my ovaries just went for a run, last time I saw it, it was hiding under my bladder".
The nurse wanted to make sure that I understood what no exercise mean (eg no endurance exercise, nothing that will bring my heartrate above 120)
I quote
"- no running
- no biking
- no treadmill (does anyone use treadmills for anything else but running?)
- no...er...let's see what am I forgetting. As you can see, I am not that familiar with exercise..."
LOL!!!
The egg retrieval procedure is done under anesthesia (general or IV heavy sedation). Lasts ~ 30 min, through an aspiration needle and assisted by ultrasound (I want to stay awake to see this!!! Must have a phenomenal entertainment value!!). Patients must arrive 1 hr before the procedure, not have food/drinks past midnight the night before, get connected through some IV, go to dreamland for a short while and then wake up in a recovery room. After 3-4 hours, they can go home. However, someone needs to drive them home as apparently they feel drunk (ahem). No work that day and no driving for 72 hours after the procedure.
I quote from the consent form "Recipients will be administered sedation and in some cases general anesthesia. Recipients may experience mild to severe pain during the procedure. Anesthesia levels will be adjusted to manage pain levels"
Great...they will ask me every 2 min where my pain level is on a scale from zero to 10 I bet...
"Discomfort in the lower abdomen is often experienced after the procedure"
- Some side effects from hormonal treatments: ovarian cancer (bummer)
- Some side effects of anesthesia: death and brain damage (bummer)
(they are not called patients in the REI clinic, they are called "Recipients" or "Donors". Most donate money to the clinic though.)
Anyway, next step was to explain to give me a little tutorial on donor sperm. I have a list of cryobanks I can try out too, and a recommendaiton for two of them that know the REI clinic processes very well. And both of them are in California and both of them have an online catalogue.
For anyone who hasn't purchased some sperm recently, you can find the Winter Collection profiles of those anonymous dads, and if you are interested in a blind date, you can ask for a more in-depth description and a baby picture for a small $80 fee. Very cute. You can purchase one or more vials and have the samples sent over to you or directly to your fertility doc/clinic.
100% better than online dating.
So there you go -
Tonight I will start my first injection to give my ovaries a little boost. My next ultrasound and clinic appointment is on Friday at 8:15 (Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!)
Tomorrow I am meeting the clinic counsellor to make sure that I keep a perfect mind-body balance throughout all this (hey, my ovaries are supposed to swell, does this mean that my ego will be inflated too?).
I have also been referred to some maternal foetal medicine doctor to get a download on "Pregnancy after a trachelectomy". They typically manage complicated pregnancies or complications during a pregnancy. However, they are also located at the Medical Center. I may want to have someone who's a little closer to home...
Oh, Lisa, (Lisa and Terri are my nurses) just called. They have the lab results. My FSH is 12 (so what?) which is a little elevated (does this mean that I am super fertile???), so instead of using 300mg of this first drug, I now need to use 450mg (as far as the injector pen can go...)
posted by Finance Monkey at 9:45 AM
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